My analysis of the Dutch Glow Amish Wood Milk product and television commercials.

I should preface by noting that you should look at any advertising with a grain of salt. I should know – I used to write television and radio commercials for a living, and I remember what I was “trained” to do. It isn’t a pretty business.

So when I first saw commercials for Dutch Glow Amish Wood Milk, the first thing that occurred to my skeptical mind was the claim that their formula is “based on a century old Amish woodworker’s formula.” And then a few other things also raised red flags to me.

Who is behind Dutch Glow?

One piece of information that we are never really given is who is behind Dutch Glow, especially who manufactures it. The website, dutchglow.com is registered to SAS Group. That company is a self-described “Innovative Leader in Mutlichannel Direct Response.” Its website shows various As Seen on TV products such as Smart Lidz, BeDazzler, Awesome Auger, and Floam.

The address for Dutch Glow is listed as 400 Returns Rd., Wallingford, CT 06494. That address, however, is the same for countless As Seen on TV products, and does not represent a corporate address for Dutch Glow.

“Customer Service” lists [email protected] – but that same domain is also used for dozens of other As Seen on TV products.

A phone number in the Arbitration Agreement (877-833-7685) is for Top TV Stuff, although their website does not (as of this writing) mention Dutch Glow. Their website lists that number as the customer service number for Easy Feet.

Given the information above, we never get a good sense as to who is behind Dutch Glow Amish Wood Milk.

Second One “Free”

The de facto As Seen on TV pitch in recent years offers a second item “free” for additional shipping. And many companies lately are not even allowing you to opt out of this second “free” item. This means they get to collect double non-refundable shipping. The way this “free” item is presented on the order form often confuses consumers into buying multiple sets of two. It’s common to see angry comments by people who selected two SETS, thinking they were selecting two ITEMS – only to be shocked to see $60+ charges on their bills.

And to add insult to injury, there is no order review page, so you can’t catch this “mistake” until you’ve already placed your order.

New Product in 2014

Dutch Glow was a very new product when it began advertising in early 2014. The official website was only registered in November 2013 and it was immediately advertised heavily on TV. I saw it advertised on HGTV several times, plus I also noticed it advertising on the Game Show channel, only a few months after the website was registered.

Here in April 2015, it certainly is no longer a new product, but its advertising and website have remained virtually unchanged since early 2014.

Dutch Glow Ingredients

Aside from their claim that Dutch Glow is a century-old Amish woodworker’s formula, there is not mention of the ingredients anywhere. I sent them an email asking for the ingredients, and have not received an answer.

There is no evidence that they are actually using an old Amish woodworker’s formula.

My Review: Nothing Special

I evaluated Dutch Glow Amish Wood Milk in March 2014, and I felt that the product really didn’t do anything that a cheap bottle of Pledge couldn’t do. And at least you can see the ingredients of Pledge online.

Reviews have poured in over the years for Dutch Glow on all of the review sites, and it is lukewarm at best. On Amazon, for example, over 400 customers give it an unimpressive 2.5 stars. And, while Amish Wood Milk is now readily available in stores, it is still more expensive than popular and proven wood cleaners available at most retailers.

Conclusion

We have a mysterious, unproven century-old Amish woodworker’s formula, and no idea who actually produces Dutch Glow. It’s also a product which began advertising only weeks after its website was created, and performs about the same as cheap wood cleaner. Reviews over the past year have been lukewarm to negative at best.

Still impressed?

Caveat emptor my friends.

Updated April 12, 2015
Originally published March 2014